First, it needs a small subplot within the battle, so that the battle doesn’t feel like it’s just there as a nice background.
Second, we need to see how clones are actually superior to droids. All we see throughout the battle is that the clones have superior weaponry and equipment, but there is no example of how their thinking or their tactics are different. They have to look more creative.
Third, we’re not really informed of what’s happening in the battle, we just see them blasting away at each other. This is a huge battle and it needs to be a little more cleared up to the viewer.
And lastly, we need more shots of what’s happening on the front lines with the infantry, so that we can get more of a feel for the battle. This is shown very nicely in one scene after the Federation starship crashes and makes a cloud of dust, and if we could have more of that it would be great.
How: There is a place between the scenes where Yoda departs for the Forward Command Center and when he arrives that really feels like it needs some new shots to lengthen the transition. They can include something like showing more Jedi leading the clones into battle and actually show some dialogue between the Jedi and the clones.
Also, here are some ideas of things that could be added into the battle:
- There are lots of shots that just show off new vehicles on either side of the battle. There should be some fighting scenes in between the “vehicle showoff scenes” to make it seem less like the battle is pure showoff. Maybe the spider droids can be removed because they serve no purpose in the battle and just look really weird.
- Have more shots of infantry in action, and maybe Jedi in a melee battle with the droids.
- Have the clone that greets Yoda at the Forward Command Center give an extended progress report after Yoda says, “Very good.”
- Have someone mention that the hailfire droids are destroying the walkers, followed by an order for a gunship attack on them to protect the walkers.
- Make some kind of conclusion to the battle, because the current one of the clone telling Yoda that the droid army is in full retreat takes some attention away from the fact that the droids are retreating and focuses on the fact the Yoda wants a ship to go and face Dooku. I think these two scenes should be independent of each other, and more focus should be made on the victory. If not, a line could be added to the clone’s dialogue so it goes something like, “The droid army is in full retreat. Sir, we’ve won the battle.”
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