Why: The scene in the Chancellor’s office is a little rough. It’s not a good idea to have rough spots right in the beginning of the film because it decreases the overall quality of the film. First impressions are always very important. The first thing that seems out of place is the music transition from the exterior and interior shots of the Chancellor’s office. It sounds like the music was roughly interrupted. But I guess the most thing that ruins the smooth flow of the scene is Palpatine interrupting Mace when he’s saying, “If they do break away…” followed by Mace later saying, “If they do…” which are two lines that just don’t go well together. Both of these problems could be fixed up quite easily.
How: Replace the music in the beginning so that it flows a bit better. As for Mace’s lines, one of them has to be replaced. It can be done with something like, “IDEAS NEEDED.”
Reorder the script as follows
ReplyDeleteEXTERIOR: EXECUTIVE QUARTERS – AFTERNOON
Establishing shot of the low domed executive quarters building.
PALPATINE: (off-screen) I don’t know how much longer I can hold off the vote, my friends...
INTERIOR: CHANCELLOR'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON
CHANCELLOR PALPATINE sits behind his desk, addressing MASTER YODA, PLO KOON, KI-ADI-MUNDI, and MACE WINDU, who sit across from him. Behind them stands KIT FISTO, LUMINARA UNDULI, and farther back, her Padawan, BARRISS OFFEE.
PALPATINE: ...More and more star systems are joining the separatists.
MACE WINDU: If they do break away, you must realize there aren't enough Jedi to protect the Republic. We’re keepers of the peace, not soldiers.
PALPATINE: I will not let this Republic that has stood for a thousand years be split in two.
YODA is listening to PALPATINE.
PALPATINE: Master Yoda, do you think it will really come to war?
YODA closes his eyes.
YODA: Hmm, the Dark Side clouds everything. Impossible to see, the future is.