C3-PO's dialogue in the arena

Why: The line spoken by C3-PO’s body, “My legs aren’t moving, I must need maintenance,” is said too early into the battle, so you get a bit of a mood killer when you have comic relief that early.

C3-PO’s humor in the arena is generally very lame, especially the lines:

• “Die Jedi dogs…what did I say?”
• “This is such a drag.”
• “I’m quite beside myself.”

Very few people thought those lines were funny, even little kids thought they were lame. His other lines aren’t very good either and need to be changed in order for AOTC to increase in quality.

How: This dialogue would be really easy to change because there is no lip movement of any kind.

First move the lines of C3-PO’s “body” to a bit later in the battle. At least a few seconds.

Next, C3-PO’s “head’s” pathetic excuse for humor needs to be fixed up:

• When he says his first line, “What’s all this noise? A battle! There’s been some terrible mistake. I’m programmed for etiquette, not destruction,” show him trying to turn around and go back and have a battle droid push him forward. This would make it a bit funnier. Also, when he says, “What’s all this noise,” can he not see what’s happening around him that he has to depend on his auditory systems? Taking out the word “noise” would take care of that perfectly.
• Ok, so obviously the head is what controls the body, that’s why C3-PO’s body with the battle droid head is going around killing Jedi. This means that the battle droid body with C3-PO’s head should not be saying things like, “Die Jedi dogs…what did I say,” or, “Oh dear, I’m terribly sorry about all this,” while blasting away at Jedi. The first line can be totally removed, but the second needs to be there for the interaction with Kit Fisto to work. However, the line can be changed to something like, “IDEAS NEEDED.”
• “Excuse me, I’m trapped, I can’t get up,” I have to say this is the most annoying line I’ve ever heard. It has to be replaced now. It can go something like, “IDEAS NEEDED.”
• The lines, “This is such a drag,” and, “I’m quite beside myself,” also have to be replaced. An idea is, for example, to have C3-PO start talking as soon as R2-D2 arrives and tells him something like, “Artoo thank goodness you’re here! I can’t access my secondary processing matrix!” Then after he pulls his head off, have him start complaining about a whole bunch of malfunctioning systems while his head is being dragged. It can go something like, “Oh no, what’ve you done?! Now my servo access panel doesn’t register, nor does my tri-axial plasma regulator, nor does my…”, then the scene cuts, and when they arrive at his body the list continues, “...nor does my power flux relay, nor does my…” and when R2-D2 starts putting his head on, he could be like, “Wait, my primary neural generator is back online! So is my…” and so on. At the end, when the battle is over, he could say something like, “Artoo, you’re a genius!” instead of, “I’ve had the most peculiar dream.” Everyone knows that robots don’t dream, duh!