Naboo morning

Why: There are three lines that I had a problem with in this conversation.

The first one is Anakin telling Padmé, “Don’t go.” This line makes him sound like a lovesick puppy, and this is a bad place to put something like that because of their previous conversation.

The second is when Padmé tells Anakin that she doesn’t want to disturb him and he tells her, “Your presence is soothing.” This line doesn’t sound right because in the previous scene they had just decided that they won’t pursue a relationship and it was a bit of a rough conversation, so a line like this doesn’t really go with that situation.

The last line that should be changed is when Anakin tells Padmé that has to go save his mother, she tells him that she’ll go with him, to which Anakin replies, “I’m sorry, I don’t have a choice.” This line totally ruins the mood because she had just agreed to go with him, which means everything was OK. Then why did he have to go and rub it in? It’s a useless mood-killing line.

How: The first line is easy. Replace, "Don't go," with, "You don't have to leave."

The second line is also easy to take care of. Instead of Anakin saying, “Your presence is soothing,” have him say, “You’re not,” in response to her telling him that she doesn’t want to disturb him. I think his mouth will need a bit of CGI work though to get it to look right.

As for, “I’m sorry, I don’t have a choice,” we can change Padmé’s lines a bit to include something like, “You won’t have to disobey your mandate…I’ll go with you.” I think that this way Anakin’s last line won’t be needed and can be removed. It could also be placed just before Padmé’s new line…just a thought.

No comments:

Post a Comment